Sometimes I know what I want to write for these newsletters and sometimes, like right now, I sit in front of my computer and wait for inspiration to strike. As my coaches would say “What’s bubbling up?”
Today, what’s bubbling up is my Mom. She died on February 7th, 2012. Two days after my husband’s birthday. And 10 months before our first son was born.
The pain definitely gets less raw as time passes. But the hurt of never seeing her with my sons never goes away. I can feel the tears coming right now as I type that. It’s the biggest regret of my life, that I never got to see her with my boys and I know I’ll feel ripped off about that until the day I die.
But, through a lot of work and a lot of healing, I know her death has also given me many gifts.
I know, without a doubt, I can walk through pain and uncertainty and find happiness on the other side.
It’s given me a depth of compassion for my clients who are struggling through the loss of a loved one. I understand them on a level that only someone who has experienced this can know and be there for them, in their pain and be comfortable with it in a way many people aren’t.
And it’s made room for some amazing and beautiful relationships. My Mom filled so many spaces in my heart, it’s taken a tribe of people to fill in those places, and I’m so grateful for every single one of them.
So today, this letter is for her and the person I’ve become because of it. And to anyone hurting right now, you can always reach out. The healing happens when we talk about it and, most importantly, when we know we’re not alone.
Name: Chelsey Mah
Business: Full Circle Doula
What they do: Chelsea is Death Doula, dedicated to helping people through the death process. She works with people to come to terms with the lives they have lived, to fully close anything that has gone unaddressed or hidden in their lives, any regrets they may have, so they can meet death as peacefully as possible. She also helps those who are grieving the loss of a loved one by creating a space where they can safely share their pain and devastation with others who can relate.
Website: Her website is not yet up and running but you can reach her at the email below…
Located in: Calgary